The secrets we hold
by Awkwrdoutlawqueenxo
Summary: Regina has a secret and Emma is determined to draw it out of her, But she may end up spilling some of her own in the process. Set in Neverland following the events of S3 E6.
1. You're quite the queen

I'm back with a swanqueen mini fic set in neverland S3 it follows the events of episode 6, except there's no Captain swan kiss (I'm Sorry). Hope you like , please review - C xo

* * *

They had slashed their way through overgrown bushes and brambles for over an hour and it was safe to say the terrain of Neverland was starting to get to everybody. The stifling heat mixed in with the incessant bug bites had everybody irritated for the most part.

Snow and charming marched ahead, leading the way back to Hook's ship with swords at the ready; cutting down anything that covered their path.

* * *

Neal and hook walked side by side in uncomfortable silence. No man wanting to break it first, they stayed focused and hiked ahead.

Regina trailed behind the group, Keeping a slow pace and a fair amount of distance between them. Her gaze was locked firmly on the ground as she walked. She seemed deep in thought, Her brow was slightly furrowed.

Nobody else had seemed to notice that the queen had fallen behind and Emma felt a small surge of anger at that.

* * *

Ofcourse they had their differences and their relationship was rather rocky but Emma often wondered what it was like to be Regina. To have so much power at her fingertips, To indulge every whim.

But then she remembered that all magic came with a price and then she wondered if Regina was still paying that price.

* * *

The queen was quite a mystery to her, her mind raced a mile a minute when she thought about her. Questions, observations.

But amidst the current chaos of her mind another question presented itself with prominence. One she just couldn't seem to shake; it made her think even harder.

Their trip to the echo cave had been emotional and while her parents, Neal and hook had seemed to work through their secrets there was one person who never spoke up, who never uttered a word throughout the whole ordeal.

* * *

What was the queen's secret?

"You okay?" Emma asked her quietly as she slowed to meet her pace.

It seemed she really was deep in thought as the blondes question seemed to rattle her, apparently pulling her out of whatever thoughts she was drowning in.

Her eyes widened when she noticed Emma's presence and in an instant the blonde could swear it was like she had never cracked. That familiar regal attitude resurfacing.

* * *

"I'll be much better when we get back to Hook's ship." she paused for a moment.

"There's a sentence I never thought I'd say." She deadpanned with a raised eyebrow, slapping away a dangerously low hanging branch as they continued their steady pace.

* * *

"You were pretty quiet back there. Are you sure?" Emma didn't want to press. She had seen first hand what happened when you pushed that woman and she didn't want any more tension than they were already dealing with.

* * *

"Just worried about Henry." The brunnette muttered, her eyes trailing the ground once more.

Her posture seemed steady but Emma could see the sharp breaths she was taking, The subtle shaking of her chest as they walked. Something was definitely bothering her and it wasn't just about Henry.

* * *

"If there's one thing I know for sure it's that we will find him. We're gonna get him back Regina." Emma told her sternly, Determination and sincerity shining in her eyes and Regina smiled weakly.

There was no doubt in Emma's mind that they would find their son and be home in no time. They had done the impossible, they had put their personal differences aside and worked as a team and together nothing could stop them. Not even pan.

* * *

They had boarded the ship in no time, Everybody was exhausted and irritable so they parted ways back to their designated bunks.

The ship swayed slightly on the shores of Neverland against the tide, by now it was something everybody had gotten used to. Even charming had managed to conquer his sea sickness. The nights in Neverland seemed strangely peaceful, The only sounds heard for miles was the crashing of the shores and the occasional bird overhead. The temperature seemed to drop during the late nights, leading everybody to bundle up. A welcome change after the suffocating heat of the day.

The boat creaked quietly as the two women sat comfortably in opposite bunks. Regina sat in silence as she seemed to stare off into the distance, Emma on the other hand was nursing a bottle of rum.

* * *

"Want some?" The now slightly tipsy blonde offered with her signature goofy smile. The smile that Regina tried so hard to convince herself she didn't love.

* * *

"I told you I don't do rum." She replied plainly with a wave of her hand. In a poof of purple smoke a bottle appeared, tightly gripped in the brunnette's hand.

* * *

"Won't drink rum but you'll drink apple cider." Emma muttered sarcastically, Taking a lengthy sip of her drink as she did.

* * *

"You insult my taste in beverages yet you still wear that God awful leather jacket every day. Your opinion is irrelevant." Regina bit back, A small tug at the corner of her lips was the only indication the woman wasn't serious.

* * *

"Oh it's getting personal huh?" Emma laughed and her bunk creaked harshly as she boosted herself up. She sat cross legged facing the brunnette as she smirked.

* * *

"You're not exactly a fashion icon yourself Madam Mayor." Emma teased, draining her bottle at an alarming rate.

* * *

"I'll have you know that there hasn't been a day I've looked anything less than regal." Regina shot back. She pushed herself up the bunk and rested her back against the creaky wooden walls of Captain Hook's ship, her gaze set on the blonde.

* * *

"Well you're quite the queen." Emma quipped. It was rather strange thinking of her as a queen when she'd only ever known her as Regina. She had heard about all the terrible things she had done but looking at her now Emma couldn't understand why nobody had noticed before.

She wasn't evil, she was heartbroken and Emma knew more than most what a broken heart could make somebody do.

* * *

"Well I ruled a kingdom for over 10 years so I should hope so." Regina commented disinterestedly.

She very seldom dwelled on that time of her life. It was filled with so much pain and loneliness that Regina couldn't bear to address it let alone make peace with it.

* * *

"What was that like." Emma asked. She wondered what Regina was like before she became the "Evil Queen". She wondered what she was like before life beat her down and she darkened her heart.

* * *

"It was terrifying at first. The thought of a whole kingdom resting on my shoulders. But I had no choice, The decision was made for me and failure was not an option." Regina told her sternly, She remembered how scared she was, How many times she had tried to run from her fate and had been dragged back kicking and screaming. But even her darkest hour she couldn't regret. Because without all the pain and suffering she wouldn't have found Henry.

Her little prince. The one person who believed in her when nobody else did; the only person she had been able to love since Daniel. The whole reason they were stuck on that island.

* * *

"You didn't choose to be queen?" Emma asked with shock, She had heard stories yes. But those tales had depicted the brunnette as a power hungry queen who ascended to spread her influence over the kingdom and terrorize the citizens.

* * *

"Of course not. My mother accepted the proposal and killed Daniel to secure my royal fate." Regina spoke slowly, Her words shaking as she recalled the time of her life where everything had changed for the worst.

* * *

" I became queen by force. It wasn't as glamorous as you may think." The brunnette took a lengthy sip of her drink in an attempt to calm her nerves. She felt like a raw nerve, A wound that never quite healed.

* * *

They fell into a deep silence as each women absorbed the intensity of their current conversation the room was filled with emotion and Emma didn't know quite how to handle it.

* * *

"Regina I'm sorry. I didn't know how things where for you, I don't understand how a mother can do that" Did Snow know this? Not that it justified everything Regina had done in her past but at the very leastwise Emma felt like it shed some light on how Regina became dark in the first place.

* * *

"She thought she was doing what was best." Regina muttered.


	2. Someone Else

So as you could probably tell i've had some issues with the doc manager, But i seemed to have worked it out. Here's chapter 2! i hope you enjoy it, please leave a review - C

"I guess not everything is what it seems huh." Emma said, shrugging her shoulders as she continued to sip her rum.

"Things are never so black and white. The world is too complicated." Regina said in agreement, Enjoying her own drink in the process.

"Well in the spirit of sharing things I guess I should tell you something. Fair is fair right." The blonde placed her bottle down carefully on the small nightstand next to her bunk before taking a deep breath.

"I lied to Neal." Emma said abruptly, Regina's brow furrowing In confusion.

"I wasn't hoping him being alive was a trick because it was too painful."

"I mean it was but that's not the reason why."

"You see what it is. Ugh, ok. How can I say this?"

"EMMA. Just get to the point." Regina told her in frustration. She was no stranger to the womans tendency to ramble and completely miss the point.

"Neal was my first love and I guess they'll always be a part of me that loves him." There was a brief pause in which Emma seemed to be summoning the courage to continue.

"But there's somebody else." Emma finished vaguely.

"Oh." Regina said. There was another pause. Neither women knowing quite what to say.

"Why did you tell me?" Regina asked. Not in sarcasm or amusement. But with genuine curiosity. Why had the blonde chosen to tell her something that was so clearly very personal to her.

"I know that I can trust you." Emma told her with a look of sincerity.

"Well it's a good thing you didn't tell you Mother, Because lord knows she can't keep a secret." Regina said in jest. In an attempt to add some humour to the moment.

They laughed together for a beat, enjoying the lightness that followed such an emotional situation was rather refreshing. Regina hadn't felt so weightless in a long time.

After a while the brunnette asked,

"It's not hook is it."

"I'm sorry." Emma asked, her eyebrows scrunching slightly.

"Your someone else. It isn't hook is it?" Regina said this time with a grimace.

'No it isn't and what do you have against him anyway?" Emma asked with a laugh. There was a strange energy whenever Regina and hook where together. You could smell the disdain from a mile off.

"Besides the fact he's a pirate?" Regina threw her hands up in exasperation.

'He's not good enough for you." She finished plainly. Looking Emma straight in the eyes as she did.

"Oh and who may I ask is?" Emma pushed in amusement. Her eyes sparkling with humour.

Regina grew silent. Clutching her bottle of cider tightly. She began to drink to avoid answering the question. Because the truth is she didn't know.

She couldn't understand why seeing Emma and Hook together grinded on her so heavily, Why it made her so angry when Hook pined after her.

"What. No sarcastic insult? No wounding one liner?" Emma egged but it seemed the brunnette was intent to stay silent.

"I can't believe that I... Emma Swan." The blonde rose from the rickety bunk unsteadily as she overdramatically pointed to herself while she laughed.

"Have managed to silence the great and powerful Regina. I mean what an honor." She continued in her slightly intoxicated stupor. The brunnette rolled her eyes as she witnessed the antics.

"Although I can't blame you. I am rather breathtaking aren't i." Emma finished obnoxiously.

Regina jabbed her elbow into the blondes ribs sharply, Sending her crashing down onto Regina's bunk unexpectedly.

The two women lay tangled on the cramped old bunk. Both taking a second to absorb what had just happened.

Neither made an attempt to move despite their awkward position. However both remained silent while they took each other in.

"You were right." Regina whispered, so quietly that Emma didn't dare breathe lest she miss what she had just said.

"You are breathtaking." Regina finished in her soft tone. Keeping steady eye contact with the blonde as she did.

Then she grabbed her unexpectedly.

"In the sense that you're literally crushing my lungs." Regina then screamed. She tossed Emma aside and landed in a fit of giggles on her chest and Emma could swear she had never seen Regina so carefree.

"I'm sorry. The bearclaws have a hold on me." Emma choked out between her own fit of giggles.

"You eat like a child." The brunnette replied with a roll of her eyes.

It wasn't a lie, Emma enjoyed grilled cheese and bearclaws too much. Not to mention her slight chicken dinosaur addiction that she tried to keep hidden.

Regina couldn't tell if it was the nature of the conversation or the alcohol in her bloodstream that was keeping her so relaxed.

She never was comfortable with physical contact, unless she was the one initiating it.

But there was something about this time. She was practically straddling the saviour. The woman she'd haboured a lot of hate for. The woman she thought would steal her son away.

Yet here she was, laughing and joking as if this was something they did everyday and she found that she didn't really mind.

"Can I ask you something?" Emma asked her softly as the laughter died down and they were left with silence.

"Depends on what you're asking." The brunnette replied with a smirk, looking down at the saviour with curiosity. At some point Emma's hands had found her hips and if Regina had noticed she didn't say anything.

"Why did you look so sad earlier? You chalk it up to worrying about Henry, which I totally understand but I know it's something more than that." She treaded carefully. Wording her request in such a way that it was just that. A request. Not a demand.

If Regina was going to answer it was her choice to do so and Emma would not push.

Regina sighed heavily and to Emma's regret pushed herself up and off the saviour, putting some space between them while she processed such a heavy question.

"I'm always worrying about Henry. He is always in the back of my mind. But being in that cave, The echos. The secrets it demanded. It was too much Emma." Regina's voice sounded small, Too small for a woman like her could ever be.

"The evil queen." The "vicious murderer." That everybody spoke of was nowhere to be seen. All she saw was Regina.

The purest and most raw part of a woman that mysterious.

"I caused so much pain in my past. So much misery. I did so many terrible things to innocent people. But the most unspeakable of things ..."

"I did to myself." It was a statement that shook Emma's soul, that weighed heavily on her mind. She understood the pain behind the statement, it was a familiar pain she had crossed during her time in the foster system.

Things like that lingered. Like an incredible weight on the soul and Emma realised why Regina kept herself so reserved, Why she hid behind her regal facade.

Because the truth was too heartbreaking to show. Even during her journey to redemption the queen was still broken. Still suffering inside.

Emma found herself hoping that Regina would elaborate just a little more, So the blonde could truly understand her.

But she was met with silence once more and neither one of them knew what to say this time.

"I think it's about time we both got some sleep, We're gonna need it for tomorrow" Emma spoke softly as she shuffled about the bunk carefully, Pushing herself up to her feet.

"You're probably right." Regina agreed throwing the blankets of her bunk to one side as she shuffled beneath them.

"We are going to get our son back." Emma whispered sternly, more to herself than Regina. She knew both their hearts rested on the possibility that Henry was ok. He was a strong boy.

The room grew still as both women lay and begged sleep to overtake their exhausted bodies.

But as Emma crossed that line between reality and dream she could've sworn she heard something. The tiniest whisper from the corner of the room.

Something she never thought she'd hear Regina say.

"Thank you Emma."


End file.
